


Bend It Like Beckham

by laserlemon



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Beca is Beckham, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Gay, Genderbending, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kommissar is Luis, M/M, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is probably bad, Why Did I Write This?, becommissar, becommissar genderbend, help me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 12:38:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11874621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laserlemon/pseuds/laserlemon
Summary: The scene of the Car Show but genderbent.There is also some stuff following the face off that's kinda cute.(This is a bad description. Just read it if you want.)





	Bend It Like Beckham

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PsychoCalixteLove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoCalixteLove/gifts).



> Genderbent!Becommissar  
> Requested by my sister
> 
> Celebrity references (if u need em, cuz i do)  
> Beckham (Beca) - Logan Lerman  
> Luis (Kommissar) - Will Tudor  
> Chastley (Chloe) - Seth Green  
> Petra (Pieter) - Kristen Stewart  
> Adam (Amy) - Rebel Wilson w/ short hair bc u can't replace her 
> 
> (This is the Car Show scene but genderbent because why not. Also Jesse and Beca are just friends in this.)

-——————————-—————  
The Barden Bellums were only here to check them out for Worlds not _check them out_. Beckham was absolutely positive on that fact, until he saw the tall blonde run on stage. He was captivated by their performance, a mashup of Muse's 'Uprising' and 'Tsunami', but it was mostly the leader of the German group that had his attention. Their set ended and the blonde noticed his staring, smirking when he got an idea. He walked off stage and towards the Bellums, group in tow, with his best friend Petra at his side. "Ah, the Barden Bellums, came here to see us? Is it because you are, what do the American kids say, jelly?" He teased, wiping sweat off his brow with a towel, smile plastered across his features. Beckham was stunned into silence, basking in the presence of such a godly figure. "We are so not jelly." Chastley spoke up, shifting the attention away from his fellow captain. Kommissar wasn't having any of Chastley's distractions and continued to admire Beckham. The brunette was also looking over Kommissar, seemingly forgetting that they were enemies. "We should really thank you for making this tour a reality, you know, with your bumbling ineptitude. We should send them something. Fruit basket?" Kommissar spoke, eyes trailing over Beckham's body. "Yum yum." Petra spoke beside him, eyes trailing over the rest of the group in a teasing manner. "Or would you prefer mini muffins?" The blonde spoke, smirking at the realization of having the upper hand. "We didn't come here to start something with you guys, we just came to check you out before the worlds where we're gonna kick your ass." Beckham spoke, finally having the courage to now that Kommissar wasn't mentally undressing him.  
"You? You are the kicker of ass?" Kommissar laughed, Petra smirking next to him. Beckham nodded, nervous as to what was coming. "But you are so tiny. Like an elf. Or is it a fairy? Sprite? Welches wort suche ich?" He spoke, turning to ask Petra what adjective he needed.  
She didn't hesitate when she said Troll, presuming that was the word. Kommissar nodded before turning back to Beckham, "That's it. You are like a troll."  
Beckham started speaking before realizing what he was saying.  
"You are physically flawless," he looked the blonde over.  
"Thank you." He responded, knowing he had gotten into the shorter boy's head.  
"But that doesn't mean I like you." He finished, finding only slight comfort in what he'd just spewed. "We are not scared about the worlds because when the Bella's hit the stage, we are gonna blow minds." Chastley said before Beck could embarrass himself any further. There were some nods and words of agreement from the Bellums, all afraid to speak at this point. Petra was the one to clap back at Chastley, "With what? More of Flabby Abby's baby maker?"  
"That's not my name," he whispered, lightly offended at the nickname.  
"I don't know your name. It could be anything; Obese Denis, inflexible Tim, lazy Seuss." Petra shot back, taunts rolling off his brain. Adam was fed up and got up in her face before spitting back at her, "My name est Fat Adam und I eat krauts like you for lunch."  
Petra just smiled at his attempt, before responding with a half understood analogy,  
"Your team is like a, how do you say that, a heated mess. You know where a mess has heat applied to it so what was once a little messy is now even messier."  
Petra felt satisfied and stepped away from him. Kommissar rolled his eyes at the misunderstanding of the term 'hot mess' and focused back on Beckham.  
"Darlings, please take my advice, don't try to beat us. You can't. We are the best. Now I really must go rest my neck it is sore from looking down on you." The tall German said, before patting the brunette's face softly. Beckham looked Kommissar over once more, thinking this would be the last time to see him before Worlds. DSM started to leave as Beck spoke up.  
"Okay. Just because you are making me very sexually confused, doesn't mean that you are intimidating. We have nothing to lose! Literally nothing! Aca-wiedersaien, bitches!" Beckham yelled, waving his hands around as if proving a point. He pushed his hair back with his hand whispering to himself, "Oh god, what is happening? Why am I using my hands so much?" The other Bellums just looked to their captains, awaiting some kind of instruction. "Um, you guys can just look around for awhile. I need to clear my head." Beckham spoke, sighing loudly. The group disappeared, wandering in different directions. Chastley turned to his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm gonna go hang with some of the guys. Don't beat yourself up over this. See you later." He whispered, making sure that Beck heard. The brunette nodded and sat with his head in his hands for a few minutes. He was tapped on the shoulder and lifted his head to a girl with blonde hair. He recognized her as the beatboxer for DSM and his eyes widened. She grabbed his hand and dragged him to a row of dressing rooms, which he assumed were for Das Sound Machine. He was pulled into the dressing room on the very end, the door labeled 'Luis'. He was confused when the girl left and he was seemingly alone in someone else's dressing room. He was about to leave himself when Kommissar came from the bathroom. It was fine, until Beck realized that the German was shirtless. He started stuttering and was blushing every shade of red and pink and was about to excuse himself when Kommissar spoke, "Ah, the troll. Have you come to embarrass yourself further?"  
Beck was staring at the ground when he whispered, "I would really appreciate it if you didn't call me that. It kinda hurts my feelings and, after all, it sounds lame."  
Kommissar pulled a loose black t-shirt over his head and stepped closer to Beckham. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, I was only teasing." Kommissar said, in an equally quiet tone. "Why did the blonde girl bring me back here? Did you need something?" Beck asked, finding some confidence. "Oh, yes. I needed something. And I wanted to give you something." Kommissar said, a smile spreading across his face. "What did you want? And what are you gonna give me? We only just met, it's not a present, is it?" The brunette rambled, still refusing to look up.  
"I wanted to give you this," Kommissar whispered before putting a finger under his chin and lifting his head. "Give me wha-" was all Beckham got out before feeling soft lips pressed against his. He responded instantly, wrapping arms around the blond's neck. He felt arms wrap around his own waist and suddenly realized what he was doing. He pulled back, slightly out of breath and dropped his arms to his sides. "Do you kiss all your competition?" Beck asked running a hand through his hair. "No, only the ones that are physically flawless. And so far that's only you." Kommissar spoke before pulling him back in for another kiss. Beck accepted eagerly, wrapping arms around the taller's neck again. He felt a hand slide into his back pocket and felt a plastic card through his jeans. He pulled back again and looked to Kommissar for an explanation. "It's a key to my hotel room. I'll be in Atlanta for a few days, so I thought you could drop by. If it's okay with you." He said, smile on his face.  
Beck realized the implications and had a smile of his own.  
"Oh. Yeah, definitely. I would love to. But what did you want from me?" He asked, slightly flustered.  
"Your phone number."  
"Of course. Yeah. Cool. Here." He shoved his phone into Kommissar's hands, hoping that this wasn't a dream. The blond put in a number and typed in a name all too fast for Beck to see. Before he realized what was happening, Kommissar's shirt was off again, and he was taking a picture on Beckham's phone. He gasped at the sight, the physical perfection now very obvious. "Have you no modesty?" Beck asked breathily. "None for you anyways." Kommissar said just as breathy, only to mock the shorter. Beck took his phone back and investigated the new contact.  
"Luis? Is that your name? I'm Beckham, by the way." He said, looking up into the German's cold blue eyes.

Luis just smirked at him and said, "Well, can you bend it like Beckham?" before picking him up and tossing him to the nearby couch.  
"I have no idea what that means, but I'd sure as hell like to find out." he whispered as Luis came towards him, hands working at his belt.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is bad  
> Let me know if you want a second one for the riff-off  
> Cuz, I'll write it  
> Follow me on tumblr @llama-llama-universe  
> I'm still taking requests btw  
> Also check my sister out on ao3 @PsychoCalixteLove


End file.
